Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Why does happiness seem to be so elusive for so many people?
I think in Oedipus the truth upsets the King's happiness. He probably could have lived happily in ignorance until his death but truth wouldn't allow it. The truth of his heritage, his marriage, and his throne could not be silenced. Ultimately, reality catches up with him and this brings dispair. Life is tough and complete happiness seems rare and Oedipus couldn't escape this.
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In Plainsong, I think people are unhappy primarily because their families are falling apart. Even though they are probably better off separated, it is hard to lose loved ones. Also, the characters don't seem to be very nice to each other throughout the book. Russell is cruel to his classmates, his girlfriend, Guthrie's children, and Guthrie himself. Guthrie and his wife can't seem to get along. In general, there are several scenes where residents of Holt, Colorado are unpleasant to each other. For example, an older man makes an offensive comment to one of the McPheron brothers about their relationship with Victoria, revealing that rumors have been spread about their situation. Even though gossip is unavoidable, people automatically assume the worst and spread rumors. Overall, Haruf does not paint a particularly happy picture of Holt, and people seem to only find true happiness when they rebuild their lives after broken relationships have hurt them.
ReplyDeleteSo what relationship does happiness have with truth? Is happiness a kind of truth in itself? Is happiness a state of being, a feeling and/or a way of behaving? What role does ignorance play in terms of happiness? Your question is a good one however, think in terms of how different characters might define happiness (as well as your own self).
ReplyDeleteI am still trying to discover what happiness means to me. For the last three years, I worked very hard towards a goal I set for myself because I thought it would make me happy. Along the way, I ran into several challenges that made me extremely unhappy; however I was convinced that achieving my goal was necessary because it would validate all of my unhappy experiences and give them worth.
ReplyDeleteWell, the deadline of reaching my goal came in the middle of August. I failed. It would probably make more sense if I shared the details of my goal, but I don't know if I can convey how much achieving this goal meant to me and I do not want to be misunderstood. Sometimes it is difficult for me to look beyond my own universe, and I am very aware that failing to reach my goal is not the end of the world. Still, I am still working through my loss, working through my own process of grieving, because to me, this goal was significant.
My point in sharing all of this is to explore the concept of happiness a little bit further. How could I have been so sure that reaching my goal would make me happy, when many of the steps I took to get there left me so unhappy?
I look back on my journey to reach this goal as a journey of learning about myself. I also look back and realize that I lost myself. Sometimes, I was so unhappy; I didn't seem like Hannah anymore. Recently, I was having a conversation with my mom about how I have changed since the pursuit of my goal ended. She has even noticed a difference. She says it's a joy to come home to me now, because I am her Hannah again, not the unhappy, defeated, empty person I was last spring.
Perhaps happiness is elusive to some people because they are mistaken about what will make them happy.
Near the end, I knew that reaching my goal probably wouldn't make me happy. But I had to finish my journey my way. I never quit along the way and I certainly was not going to quit when the finish line was so close. So, one last time, I gritted my teeth, and gave everything I had in the final days. I did this even though a part of me, secretly, hoped that I would fail.
Maybe some of us are just stubborn. We see the evidence of our own unhappiness, but we insist to command our lives in the direction we want them to go. Perhaps happiness is about fate. I am not a big believer in fate. I believe life is unfair, but it is truly difficult to accept this when you have to deal with being on the unfair side. But, maybe I was never meant to achieve this goal. If it is a matter of fate, I believe I fought fate as hard as I could to win. In fighting fate, (if that's what I did) my sadness deepened. In fighting so hard to achieve happiness, why did I end up so unhappy?
Ironically, I am finding myself much happier now that my journey is over than I have felt in many months.